Would-be parents use YouTube, Facebook to find birth mothers

People head to YouTube to watch all kinds of things, but to search for the potential adoptive parents of their children? In an effort to stand out from the crowd, today's would-be adoptive parents are heading online to YouTube, Facebook, blogs and other social networking sites and birth mothers are apparently paying attention.

In an Oct. 4 Globe and Mail story, Bethany Christian Services vice-president of marketing and communications Marc Andreas told the story of family who posted a YouTube video. The father was prominently featured flipping pancakes and doing a dance. Shortly after the video was posted, a birth mother chose the family for her child.

"It was endearing and it showed the humour and the energy for life the father had," said Andreas, whose Michigan-based organization is one of the largest U.S. adoption agencies.

A seven months pregnant college student named Amanda was prompted by a YouTube video to choose a particular family for her unborn child, according to a March 10 CNN.com story. She had gone through hundreds of profiles online and via adoption agencies before making her selection.

"The video was comforting, and I could relate to them," Amanda was quoted as saying. "It's so hard when you are just reading a letter to figure out what are these people like."

Hoping for children, would-be parents are trying to connect with women giving their children up for adoption through a variety of means. These include the YouTube videos with photo slideshows, home tours and interviews, but also blogs, Live Journal and personal websites documenting their adoption journeys, Facebook and MySpace postings, searching Craigslist for potential mothers, and even Twitter tweets.

After a devastating miscarriage years earlier and being unable to conceive, a Maryland couple had been waiting three years to adopt. They made a flier and uploaded it to Facebook in late 2008 to find a birth mom. About two weeks later a friend of a friend found it and knew someone who wanted to give up their child. The couple brought home their newborn son on New Year’s Day, according to the CNN.com article.

"It's just one of those right place and the right time situations," Seth Edlavitch, the Maryland father, said. "I never would have anticipated that it would work the way that it did."

While the online methods have their success stories, some are concerned.

"I wouldn't tell [clients] they couldn't do it, but I don't recommend generally for them to put that kind of thing on the Internet," said Cheryl Fix, executive director of B.C.'s Choices Adoption & Counselling agency, in the Globe & Mail article.

A major concern is that by putting personal information online these unsuspecting people are playing into the hands of scammers. Fix is also concerned that prospective parents could send out a message that they might not be able to carry through with. She used the example of potential adoptive parents allowing the birth mother to see the child regularly.

"When people are wanting to adopt, there's this great desire to be parents," she said. "That desire can sometimes mix with desperation and some of the messages that might come across might not be the most appropriate."

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